Prince Charming is dead!

I don't know about other women out there but I have always held this version of Prince Charming in my head. He is the perfect man. Kind and caring and always chivalrous. Witty, funny, and always knowing when you needed a little something extra in the pick me up department.
I think society puts in your head at an early age that Prince Charming is waiting to rescue you on his valiant white horse. Thanks for nothing Walt Disney.

 There is a boy/man from my past that I always held this mental position open for. I hadn't spoken to him in years. We had "dated" in junior high and I have always held a torch for him ever since. He was the prefect blend of funny, artistic, good looking,a touch of danger, and had that certain mystique about him.

 After graduating high school, he stuck around in our hometown for awhile. He dated and married a girl from our school and they were together for about 20 years. They had moved to the coast and had lived there for many years now.

 This last winter, he contacted me on that lovely social network site, Facebook.
He hadn't up until this point been on any social site that I could stalk him properly from.
It seems that him and his wife had split up. He was looking up old friends. We talked, we laughed, we flirted, I was flattered that he still thought of me. We talked for hours and hours, reminiscing. A lot of sighing and what might have beens. Not always spoken but wondered.
Upon talking and learning about his life and discovering who he is, I figured out that I had in essence made him into someone in my mind that no mere mortal could ever be. This great prince with the silver tongue and robust zest for life turned out to be a just a normal man. Not much different from many many others I had met/dated/slept with/left behind before.

The image of Prince Charming that I had some painstakingly held in high regard came crashing to ground.

 I weep over the loss of this ideal and the hope that he may still be out there somewhere, pining like I did. But at the same time, I gather strength in the fact of what I really knew all along. I am stronger than that weakling little woman that needs to be rescued as I rescue myself and always have.

Today would have been my sister's 33rd Birthday

 I was in the 7th grade when I lost my younger sister to bone cancer. Today she would have been 33. Truly hard to believe it's been that long.
  A lot have come to pass in these many years. This last year alone has been a stunner in itself.
My mom, who is only 58, technically died on the operating table last summer. They were able to bring her back and I have to say she is not the same person she was in some ways. My mom had a triple bypass about 8 years ago. She was then that she had to lose weight, stop smoking, and change her lifestyle. She stopped smoking.
  My family and I have had our ups and downs over the course of the last 4 years or so. For awhile we didn't talk at all. That was healthier for all of us. It was for several reasons and somehow after mom's close call with leaving this earth, we managed to put ourselves back together again. We still tread lightly. We are still slow to trust like we used to. I missed my family and felt excluded but it was easier for them to do so.
  Both my brothers have made families. Tom has Erykah, Isabella, and Alden. Travis has Addie with another on the way very soon. I am so proud of my brothers and the men they turned out to be. I can only wonder what my sister, Sember, would have thought of our brothers children. I can only imagine that she would love them dearly like I do. I can see little bits and pieces of her in all of our children.
 Anyone that knows me also knows that I don't care much for organized religion or it's cults but rather a sense of spirituality. I have to believe that wherever Sember is, she is looking down upon us today and smiling knowing that we are all okay and probably right sprinkling dandelion seeds in all our yards as I type this. We miss and love you.

Sure does feel like a monday

It's been a bit since I updated but it's been a crazy week! Shane's grandmother passed away on friday evening. His daughter Dominque and her brother Nick are here for the funeral. They flew into O'Hare early sunday morning. The services are on tuesday evening and wednesday morning. So all 7 of us need to travel 3o minutes away. So I am guessing we will need both vehicles to ferry everyone there safely.
I am soo glad that Dommy would fly instead of having to be picked up from North Carolina. She is terrified of flying but she seemed to do very well. Her brother was with her so I think that helped. Nick is 16 but has limited time in the air too.
  We were allowed to thru security and go directly to their arrival gate. That was weird, being in the airport but not going anywhere. I miss traveling. I can't say I am a fan of the security process but I understand it's necessity.
  Josey has oral surgery this morning to remove a baby tooth and to pull down one that is lodged on top of others. Hopefully it will go smoothly and not be too painful. She has braces and this should be the last obstacle in getting them all aligned. She is counting the days until they can be removed.