Today is Shane's birthday. I still need to wrap his presents and bake his cake. The dog woke us up by banging on the door until she popped the lock. She wanted to make sure momma or dad was up to feed her. Such a nice four-legged daughter! The younger 2-legged variety kids were up before 6 which is totally messed up because I have to pry their little butts out of bed during the week.
Lil Shane and McKayla were supposed to go with their "mother" this weekend but she opted not to pick them up since McKayla had a girl scout meeting last night. She is not very consistent in picking them up and I wish she would either step up to the plate and be their mom or hit the road and never look back. We gave her the option of switching weekends due to the girl scout schedule but that varies from month to month to so that really isn't going to help much.
She neglected to pick them up at all in January after she dropped them off from Christmas break when she had them for almost 2 weeks. The incubator, as I like to call her, insists on McKayla not being in girl scouts as it cuts into her visits. She doesn't even show up 75% of the time anyhow. How do you deal with a situation like this? Shane has filed the necessary papers to take her back to court in March for child support and to get the vistations adjusted to suite the kids better, not her. She knows how to work the system and I fear that it will just be a long drawn out process with little positive result.
She makes me soo angry that she is not the mother they need her to be. She disappoints them on every level. She will buy them game systems and then pawn them when she needs the money later. I know I have not always been the best mother to my own daughter Josey but I seriously hope I was never as bad. I know I didn't always make the right decisions when it comes to a lot of choices. It's so easy to see the faults in others, especially when they are hurting the ones you love.
I just wish I could make everything okay. I hate seeing the look in their eyes when they find out that once again, mom is not coming to pick them up. McKayla internalizes it and Shane acts out in school and here at home etc. Both of the kids are in counseling but I am not sure they is enough counseling in the world to help these kids on the level she damages them. Both Shane and McKayla have a hard time in school. Neither reads at grade level. Shane is the process of being tested at school for dyslexia. Both kids are in Title 1 reading and other programs to help them. Shane has also been extremely defiant towards his teachers and us here at home. The kids have cousins on their Dad's side that have been classified O.D.D. which is oppositional defiance disorder. Basically, they do whatever they want and due to their size and age, there isn't much the parents can do about it. I am not looking forward to raising teenagers with this issue at all.
I am sure all of this is really not fun to read or very exciting either. I need a vent and fast! Is it unheard of for a grown woman of the age of almost 39 to start smoking?
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