Today is Shane's birthday. I still need to wrap his presents and bake his cake. The dog woke us up by banging on the door until she popped the lock. She wanted to make sure momma or dad was up to feed her. Such a nice four-legged daughter! The younger 2-legged variety kids were up before 6 which is totally messed up because I have to pry their little butts out of bed during the week.
Lil Shane and McKayla were supposed to go with their "mother" this weekend but she opted not to pick them up since McKayla had a girl scout meeting last night. She is not very consistent in picking them up and I wish she would either step up to the plate and be their mom or hit the road and never look back. We gave her the option of switching weekends due to the girl scout schedule but that varies from month to month to so that really isn't going to help much.
She neglected to pick them up at all in January after she dropped them off from Christmas break when she had them for almost 2 weeks. The incubator, as I like to call her, insists on McKayla not being in girl scouts as it cuts into her visits. She doesn't even show up 75% of the time anyhow. How do you deal with a situation like this? Shane has filed the necessary papers to take her back to court in March for child support and to get the vistations adjusted to suite the kids better, not her. She knows how to work the system and I fear that it will just be a long drawn out process with little positive result.
She makes me soo angry that she is not the mother they need her to be. She disappoints them on every level. She will buy them game systems and then pawn them when she needs the money later. I know I have not always been the best mother to my own daughter Josey but I seriously hope I was never as bad. I know I didn't always make the right decisions when it comes to a lot of choices. It's so easy to see the faults in others, especially when they are hurting the ones you love.
I just wish I could make everything okay. I hate seeing the look in their eyes when they find out that once again, mom is not coming to pick them up. McKayla internalizes it and Shane acts out in school and here at home etc. Both of the kids are in counseling but I am not sure they is enough counseling in the world to help these kids on the level she damages them. Both Shane and McKayla have a hard time in school. Neither reads at grade level. Shane is the process of being tested at school for dyslexia. Both kids are in Title 1 reading and other programs to help them. Shane has also been extremely defiant towards his teachers and us here at home. The kids have cousins on their Dad's side that have been classified O.D.D. which is oppositional defiance disorder. Basically, they do whatever they want and due to their size and age, there isn't much the parents can do about it. I am not looking forward to raising teenagers with this issue at all.
I am sure all of this is really not fun to read or very exciting either. I need a vent and fast! Is it unheard of for a grown woman of the age of almost 39 to start smoking?
Dominque,Josey,& Anja
Dominque, Josey & Anja
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
TGIF ...it is what it is
Well if anyone ever reads this I guess I should tell a little about myself.
I'm called Charity by most everyone. I am quite sure I am called something less flattering behind my back by the step-kids. I live in Dixon IL with my boyfriend/fiance and our 3 kids. I have one daughter from first marriage named Josey who is 14. Shane (the above mentioned S.O.) has 3 kids total. Dominque, 13, who lives in North Carolina with her mom. McKayla, 10, and Shane, 8. We live in a big ol rambling rented farmhouse on the southern edge of Dixon Illinois. We have a whole mess of animals. We have 3 outdoor barn cats. Boo, Brownie and Oreo. Tucker and T.T. are the indoor kitties that Josey and I helped the mother give birth to. There is a large tank full of fish in the living room that I sometimes remember to feed. We also have a Border Collie mix dog named Bella who is the latest edition to the family. She is 7 months old and quite the handful.
We were told by the people that we got her from that she was German Shepard/Lab mix. We wanted a dog for protection as someone broke into one the barns and stole almost all of our firewood for the winter. The neighbors also walked in one day to give us a Christmas treat and we never knew they were in the house. That scared me as they could have been real robbers or some other bad person. So hence the wanting of the protection of a fierce dog. We looked for weeks for a proper watch dog. We visited shelters in the area and found some that we liked but none of them were known how they reacted to cats. I really didn't want a dog that would eat or attack the cats. We saw the ad for Bella on Craigslist and went to see her that afternoon. I had some reservations as she seemed to be a hyper dog and frankly we already have enough kids that require a lot of attention. We decided to think about it and drove away. We returned hours later after purchasing all the doggy requirements from the local farm implement type store here. The large crate, the 4000 lb bag of food, the chew toys, the tug of war rope and the nasty basted rib bones, the pretty purple collar and leash. So $200 later, we return to her owners and decide to make her part of our crazy family.
Bella is partial to women over men. Her previous owner, Maria, was her main caregiver so she has firmly attached herself to my side. I get an 4 legged escort everywhere. To the laundry room, the restroom, the kitchen, to bed, you get the idea. And heaven forbid I go somewhere and close the door behind me without my shadow.
We figured out very quickly after we brought her home that this dog was not as described. She is not German Shepard at all. She likes to herd the kids. She has to know where everyone is at all times. Upon doing a little online research, I saw the exact picture of our lovely Bella. She happens to be a Borador, which is Border Collie/ Lab. All the stated characteristics are there. The ears, the herding, the need to be busy all the time, etc. Oh well, so she is not as she was claimed to be. She is our crackhead dog now. We discussed briefly trying to find a real farm for her to go to but that subject was quickly dismissed.
Last week, we had all the animals fixed. The three outdoor barn cats and Bella. I am a firm believer in getting animals spayed or neutered as there are too many animals that are homeless or in overcrowded shelters already.
I will come back later and give you all some more boring details but right now I have to take a shower so I can go for my wedding dress fitting. Loooong story..tell ya later!
I'm called Charity by most everyone. I am quite sure I am called something less flattering behind my back by the step-kids. I live in Dixon IL with my boyfriend/fiance and our 3 kids. I have one daughter from first marriage named Josey who is 14. Shane (the above mentioned S.O.) has 3 kids total. Dominque, 13, who lives in North Carolina with her mom. McKayla, 10, and Shane, 8. We live in a big ol rambling rented farmhouse on the southern edge of Dixon Illinois. We have a whole mess of animals. We have 3 outdoor barn cats. Boo, Brownie and Oreo. Tucker and T.T. are the indoor kitties that Josey and I helped the mother give birth to. There is a large tank full of fish in the living room that I sometimes remember to feed. We also have a Border Collie mix dog named Bella who is the latest edition to the family. She is 7 months old and quite the handful.
We were told by the people that we got her from that she was German Shepard/Lab mix. We wanted a dog for protection as someone broke into one the barns and stole almost all of our firewood for the winter. The neighbors also walked in one day to give us a Christmas treat and we never knew they were in the house. That scared me as they could have been real robbers or some other bad person. So hence the wanting of the protection of a fierce dog. We looked for weeks for a proper watch dog. We visited shelters in the area and found some that we liked but none of them were known how they reacted to cats. I really didn't want a dog that would eat or attack the cats. We saw the ad for Bella on Craigslist and went to see her that afternoon. I had some reservations as she seemed to be a hyper dog and frankly we already have enough kids that require a lot of attention. We decided to think about it and drove away. We returned hours later after purchasing all the doggy requirements from the local farm implement type store here. The large crate, the 4000 lb bag of food, the chew toys, the tug of war rope and the nasty basted rib bones, the pretty purple collar and leash. So $200 later, we return to her owners and decide to make her part of our crazy family.
Bella is partial to women over men. Her previous owner, Maria, was her main caregiver so she has firmly attached herself to my side. I get an 4 legged escort everywhere. To the laundry room, the restroom, the kitchen, to bed, you get the idea. And heaven forbid I go somewhere and close the door behind me without my shadow.
We figured out very quickly after we brought her home that this dog was not as described. She is not German Shepard at all. She likes to herd the kids. She has to know where everyone is at all times. Upon doing a little online research, I saw the exact picture of our lovely Bella. She happens to be a Borador, which is Border Collie/ Lab. All the stated characteristics are there. The ears, the herding, the need to be busy all the time, etc. Oh well, so she is not as she was claimed to be. She is our crackhead dog now. We discussed briefly trying to find a real farm for her to go to but that subject was quickly dismissed.
Last week, we had all the animals fixed. The three outdoor barn cats and Bella. I am a firm believer in getting animals spayed or neutered as there are too many animals that are homeless or in overcrowded shelters already.
I will come back later and give you all some more boring details but right now I have to take a shower so I can go for my wedding dress fitting. Loooong story..tell ya later!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
My first blog
I have never really had a blog before and I am not really sure what I need one for but I decided it was time. I can't promise that I will ever post anything that anyone else will want to read or see. I guess check back to see if anything interesting pops up.
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